…In my kitchen, In my weightloss journey or In mommyhood. Join me for another day in my life. Baring it all! The good, the bad and the ugly.
To my sweet little boy,
You have been defiant all evening, frustrating me and taking my patience to their limits. As I say “no,” while you’re trying to stand up in the bathtub, you just look me straight in the eyes and reach for the edge to pull yourself up again. This goes on, and on, and on until I just say enough is enough and pull the plug. This little routine carries through everything tonight and mommy is grasping at every little morsel of sanity that I have left. I begin to question if I have what it takes to be your mom and guide you down the right path because clearly, I must be parenting wrong if you won’t listen.
Sweet child, when mommy and daddy tell you “no,” it’s usually because you’re doing something that’s unsafe. We never want to see you hurt or get in harm’s way. I really wish you would listen. It hurts my heart when you look right at me and do exactly what I’ve told you not to.
And now, as you lay peacefully asleep in my arms, I am reminded that it doesn’t matter how many times you bring me to the brink of losing my sanity, you are my precious little boy. As I breathe in your just-bathed baby scent, my heart is warmed. As I listen to you breathe in my ear, my own breathing slows and I drift into a sweet peaceful bliss. And as I look down at you, fast asleep in my arms, I still can’t believe you’re mine. I smile.
I will lose my patience, like I did tonight, probably right up until you’re 18. I know that there will be times that I will raise my voice, say something that I will regret and wish I could take back. I will never be perfect and sweet child, neither will you. However, you will always be my sweet baby boy. I will forever be in peaceful bliss when I watch you sleep, because I know you were God’s perfect gift to me.
I love you my sweet boy, with all of my heart and soul. Sleep well and sweet dreams, my son.
Hugs, kisses and lots of love,